Demise: Rise of the Ku'tan - 100 Signs You Play Too Much Demise

IanthePez
100 Signs You Play Too Much Demise
This incredibly important knowledge was recovered by Mithrandir (The Grey Pilgrim):

This is a selection of the best 100 messages (from my point of view). The first ones have their author but after that I got tired. Anyway I have the original (printed) and if I have enough time I'll finish it (maybe). Well, here it is:

- You can only walk North, South, East or West. "Ad_Nauseam"
- You create a cult against one race. "Ad_Nauseam"
- You refer to your pets as companion 1 and 2. "Xanatos"
- You wish you could Flamesheet traffic so you could get home faster to play Demise. "Karelzarath"
- When you feel sick you ask the doctor for a Potion of Curing. "banstyle"
- When the elevator is broken you try to cast Magical Flight. "banstyle"
- Your Windows loads Demise automatically. "banstyle"
- You tell everyone that shrink-wrapped products require magical entry to open. "Vorlin"
- You calmly attempt to walk over a large construction hole, fall in, then amaze bystanders when you go on a prolonged rant about how you wouldn't have gotten hurt if the levitation code didn't have random failures. "Vorlin"
- Windows Theme is set to demise, and this was before the Demise Theme came out. "Fang"
- You have decorated the rooms of your house to match favourate dungeon rooms. (including blood splatter) to cut down on withdrawal symptoms. "Fang"
- You get beaten up, and try to heal up at the fountain in your yard. "Merk"
- You try to cast Banish Demon on your sister. "Merk"
- Your girlfriend/boyfriend tries to break up with you, so you cast control on her/him. "Merk"
- Your F button on the keyboard breaks. "Merk"
- You start kickin and whupin your neighbour's gnome lawn ornaments. "Handit Over"
- You move the toilet in front of the computer, so that when you go, you don't have to go anywhere. "Handit Over"
- You set two computers up on your desk so you can form a party in Multiplayer when no one else is on. "Snake34o1"
- You purchase a copy of Demise for each person in your family. "Snake34o1"
- You walk through a rotating door and get lost. "Snake34o1"
- You ask you employer at what level you get your company crest. "Dark Schneider"
- You wonder what item slot you left your wallet in. "Dark Schneider"
- You begin to try figuring out the Stats of real people. "Dark Schneider"
- Prior to betting on a boxing match, you ask what each competitor's A/D is. "Dark Schneider"
- Problems are caused when you consider yourself a novice adventurer. You identify forks, spoons, and knives all as "utensil", and so cause havoc at the dinner table. "Dark Schneider"
- You develop an aversion to green lederhosen and/or red vests. "Dark Schneider"
- At places of religious gatherings, you search the corners for the remains of dead adventurers long past. "Dark Schneider"
- At school, you ask to be excused from class because you are pinned and cannot learn any more for now. "Dark Schneider"
- You wonder if working nine jobs will make you highly skilled in all of them over time. "Dark Schneider"
- You are overheard trying to pick up a mate with the line, "Are those bracelets twisted? I ask because they certainly enhance your charisma!!". "Dark Schneider"
- When filling out a job application, under the question "Where do you see yourself in six months?" you calmly respond with "Level 101". "Dark Schneider"
- In an attempt to get more into the game, you replace your monitor with a 67 inch screen and play exclusively in full screen with the most expanded dungeon view. (an elaboration on snake's idea.)
- You've been given detention for telling the teacher your textbook was a Tome of Lies.
- You begin to wonder what guilds your friends are in.
- You don't get enough to eat because you don't think it's needed.
- You name your firstborn DA.
- Every day when you come home, you kick the door open and dodge to the side to avoid that nasty 'first strike' greeting from your wife and kids.
- Whenever anyone says "Let's get stoned" you start muttering "damn nastrums".
- You are happy when your car breaks down because that means you can stay home and play Demise. (actually happened).
- You start mocking the slaves pitiful whimpering as you slice through them.
- You are single-handedly responsible for a Starbucks opening a new store across from your house just so you can get enough caffeine.
- You can name everything a footpad has been called.
- You can make two 101 level characters in one week.
- You start thinking how much your (insert sport name) game would improve if you could wear a Cloak of Night.
- You will argue vehemently that there is no such thing as swimming.
- You can make a convincing argument that Gnomes are useful (obviously, even I haven't played that much yet).
- You can calculate guilds penalties concerning any guild combo in your head.
- You compose a list of 100 signs that you've been playing Demise too long. (This one was #100 of the original list)
- Every time you step on something around the house, you say 'kewl' or 'hmm'.
- You look around for your breath counter when you take a bath, and then get out to make a bug report when you can not find it.
- You can do a complete circuit of level 3 with your monitor off. You go to sleep and continue your complete circuit of level 3.
- You are able to accurately reproduce the sound of every monster from Lev 1-7 (ee-hee-hee-hee-hee,dubble dee, R-T-O, snook!).
- Your pets are so used to the ambient sounds in town, that they no longer react with alarm to cat shrieks and dog barks.
- You become a racist and swear to exterminate a non-existent race (gnomes).
- (applicable to younger Demise fans) As soon as you get 17 years old, you start looking for a POY.
- If bitten by a poisonous snake, you pace hoping that it will go away soon.
- When a person you know dies, you calmly announce that you are willing to pay for resurrection and hope that there are no complications.
- Whenever you see a rich guy, you wonder whether he's a hacker.
- You are willing to purchase a game you've already played for years.
- You are willing to download a 100+ MB demo of a game you'll soon purchase anyway, on your slow 56K modem, even though you've been playing that game for years...
- When you call your Mom and start out the conversation, "Guess what I did in the Dungeon today?".
- You start renaming your wine to: Aard of Being. (Chateu de Morash)
- You've just completed the level 100 quest from the "Work Guild", killing your boss and becoming the guildmaster of the "Work Guild".
- You call your Father "Goblin Lord".
- You start kicking the cat to gain experience points.
- You begin making real-life ways to cast Demise spells. (eg. a can of hairspray and a lighter for Flame).
- When your attempts to cast Banish Devil on your inlaws fail, you go find a store with a glowing ball inside and sit in front of it for a few hours to recharge your spell points.
- At work, on your way to the rest room, you keep looking for the "J" key, to see if She will join you.
- You wonder if those short people that live at your house are Goblies, until you realize they are YOUR kids.
- You mark the days between the day you pre-ordered Demise and the day its on your door step on your computer room wall like your in a jail cell.
- You go to the shop of a local locksmith hoping to be able to practice your theiving skills....
- You run into all the walls of your office hoping to find a "secret door" in which to play DEMISE.
- Whenever you run into a wall you've gotta say ow.
- You think everyone hates you because you have evil alignment...
- You refer to DA as god.
- Pre ordering demise2.
- You go round mapping the whole of town for later refrence.
- To fall asleep you play through a trip into the dungeon in your head.
- You refer to your kids as "legacy characters" .
- When visiting your mother in law,you´re certain you are standing on a stud square.
- You are convinced that the Philosophy books at your University are Tomes of Lies, and wish you could find some place to get them fully identified.
- You get to level 2 and survive as a gnome, but then you wake up.
- Since you have played every race expept gnomes and ogres, you start to make a gnome character... but then you realize what your doing and stop.
- When your exterminator tells you he's going to poison the ants in your home and you try to explain how ants are immune.....
- (only applies to some ppl)You try to use dust of locating to find your wife/girlfriend who you think is having an affair.
- You wish you had established mystical portal at home so you could get home quicker
- You hope your neighbours dog breaks a level of binding.
- You haven’t eaten anything other than pizza the last few months
- Making a bet with a friend (whoops, you don't have friends, ok a fellow MP player) that you could do a dungeon run to any level in the beta blindfolded, using method of elimination on rotators (e.g. the one on level 2, just north of the stairs to 3, if you walked thru a door you went south/east, go left if you hit wall it was south, else east. Not going thru a door would be west/north, go left, if you hit a wall was west, else north), and of course you'd recognize where you were after hitting random teleporters.
- Being able to write the above example without actually checking
- Winning the bet
- Considering asking DA if I should compile these reasons into a list to be included in the manual, as a warning to it's addictiveness
- You read the whole entire list of "100 signs you have been playing too much Demise" and laugh like crazy at every one, because you know what they all mean.
- Your dreams of Demise (this can't be stressed enough, i DO dream about Demise) are so real, when you turn it on again you get upset because you lost all those levels and experience you remembered getting.
- You can't go for 5 hours without playing Demise or you will start suffering from epileptic seizures.
- You legally changed your name to your Demise Char's name.
- You know there's a wall in front of you, but you headbutt it anyway in hopes of finding the secret room behind.
- Repeat #97 again, and again, and again...
- You pictured how you would look in the exact equipment you are using in the game.
- You elaborate a list of the best 100 signs you have been playing too much Demise and you consider including them in a web page about the game.